District microchips uniforms so students don't skip school

Kids in one district are now up against a pretty tough foe in their battle to skip school: their own uniforms. 20,000 grade school students in ... Full story

Hamburglar snatches McD's order from hungry customer

Alert Officer Big Mac! A real-life hamburglar is on the loose. Just as a Maine Mickey D's employee was handing over an order to a customer ... Full story

Space Needle serves as handy Angry Birds slingshot

What better place to catapult Angry Birds into space than from the 605-foot-high Space Needle? The iconic Seattle landmark, built for the 1962 World's Fair, is ... Full story

Marijuana deliveryman tells cops ninjas stole his weed

A medical marijuana deliveryman called the cops on Friday night claiming that he had been attacked by ninjas who stole his weed. (And if you're ... Full story

Guy allegedly gets dog so wasted it can't stand up

Some people just shouldn't have pets. First, an unidentified Minnesota man got ticketed for yelling obscenities at his cat, and now Todd Schrier of Montana ... Full story

Ann Arbor man punched during literary argument

When was the last time a literary argument led to a fistfight? Oh yeah, it was last Saturday, when two Ann Arbor men scrapped after ... Full story

Thief looking for scrap metal defrosts dead bodies

Russian scrap metal thief swiped the worst possible set of pipes, stealing the part of a morgue that kept the bodies cold. The 49-year-old suspect ... Full story

Correction: Our editor died having sex, not in his car

From the "better you hear it from us than the @portlandmercury" file, the Oregonian has posted one of the oddest corrections of all time. The ... Full story

Woman plans creepy wedding to the guy she's stalking

Apparently you can blame a girl for trying: After a Washington state man got a phone call from Jared the Galleria of Jewelry asking him ... Full story

College teaches students how to survive a zombie attack

Get ready, America, because the zombie apocalypse starts on May 14. At least that's the case at Michigan State, where the School of Social Work ... Full story

Mom sells George Washington shaped McNugget for $8K

You might want to pack your Chicken McNuggets on ice next time the kids have leftovers. That's what mom Rebekah Speight did three years ago ... Full story

Bar threatens to ban gassy customer

We're not sure which is sadder: That Englishman Dave Marriott is so farttastic he's facing a ban from his favorite pub, or the picture that ... Full story

Embalmer caught stealing gold teeth from corpses

A Colorado man has been busted for stealing gold teeth from his clients and selling them for profit. Bad enough in theory -- but we ... Full story

Woman has only eaten cheese pizza for last 31 years

Claire Simmons, a 33-year-old London woman, has a diet that only slices one way. Simmons has eaten only cheese pizza for the past 31 years. ... Full story

Woman wants $15K for George Washington McNugget

"Friends and family [...] have all responded with awe and laughter over this remarkable find," Rebekah Speights wrote on her eBay description for ... a ... Full story

TV show reveals Batman fetish to couple's teen daughter

Embarrassment may come easily when you're a teen, but seeing your parents at a swingers club on TV takes that humiliation to a whole new ... Full story

Kinky Valentine's role-playing sends Oregon couple to jail

A Portland, Oregon couple started their Valentine's Day with a role-playing fantasy and ended it with a pair of His and Hers mugshots and a ... Full story

Michigan student provides Walk of Shame shuttle service

An underemployed U of Michigan student has launched a "Walk of Shame" shuttle service after asking herself "Why apply for someone else's job when I ... Full story

Boston PD shoots back at hackers with donut jokes

The Boston police were victims of an "Anonymous" cyber-tantrum and responded with a video in which officers react to the hacking with ironic outrage (and ... Full story

Say cheese: New Yorker snaps pic of subway's ugliest rat

Are you eating? If so, you might want to put your fork down for a sec. New York City's Transport Workers Union has picked a ... Full story

Totally sober couple finds purple squirrel in backyard

A birdwatching Pennsylvania couple checked their backyard squirrel traps on Sunday and found a purple squirrel staring back at them. "I kept telling my husband ... Full story

‘Milk Man’ video makes us opposite of thirsty

Freddy Wong is at it again with his latest video, "Milk Man: World's Worst Superhero." The "Guitar Hero 2" master-turned YouTube superstar (his channel currently ... Full story

You’ll never guess which nation has a Hello Kitty dentist

Is anything more adorable, really, than a root canal? Not if your infected tooth pulp is being removed at the new Hearts Dental Clinic in ... Full story

The woman with two vaginas

Hazel Jones is leading a double life. The 27-year-old appeared on a British morning show last week, cheerily sharing over tea that she has two ... Full story